Marriage is a complicated thing isn’t it? I mean you hear the good and see the horrible things about marraige and wonder, is this really really worth the headache. And this people that have managed to find each other and happily stay with each other for so long, how did they do it? What I hear whenever I ask sometimes, is that marraige has no formula, it takes two to tango, and I still hear people say it takes the woman to build her home to what ever result she hopes to see in the future. Although I don’t fall into the school of thought that the woman is responsible for how her home turns out, I get the point trying to be passed. I also firmly believe that a marraige that is held together by one party alone might end up crashing or the union would be weak, my thoughts anyways.
Since the beginning of this year the trend has been the break up of celebrity marriages and washing of their linen, clean or dirty in public. And I wonder weren’t this the same people we raved about their wedding and their posts as they gushed about each other? Or didn’t we fall in love with their destination weddings and their Bellanaija pictures, like what is wrong with this people! Makes you look at marraige in another light right?
There is another trend I believe has been in existence since but women or should I say feminists are just bringing to light.
The woman sorely responsible for taking care of the home, the cooking, the cleaning, the kids and the husband.
I mean seriously is there no part that the man be assigned to? In this age where women work as equally as men in the office. I have a colleague that closes from work by 6:00, probably gets home by 7:00,7:30 depends on Lagos traffic and rushes into the kitchen to make something for her husband that got home by say 6:00. I asked her how she does it and her reply was
“my dear if you don’t take care of your man, someone else will do the job for you”
sadly this is the mindset of so many women I have come across.
Another trend which I have heard is,
If my husband is the head of the family, he is sorely responsible for my upkeep, my money is my money, his money is our money!
Haba! I hear this from working class women too. I’m puzzled yo! Like Lady what happened to your money? Huh?
So many trends of what marraige should be, so been an inquisitive mind I went asking married and single people what their take was on marraige and what causes marraige break down, and here are some answers
Peju the single lawyer said
Marraige is a merger, it’s a tango, it takes two for it to work. People go into marriage with the wrong mindset that marriage is about perfection. No it’s not. It’s about two Imperfect people coming to merge. If you go into marraige with the mindset of quitting when you see imperfection, why not keep dating?
About money? My money is our money as well, we are both responsible for the financial growth of our home.
About marraige fall out? People fail to overlook certain things, they are not patient and are quick to involve a third party. Marraige is a tango, it takes two, you don’t call a third party to join you in the dance. Don’t compare your marraige with others, and the only time you call out for help is when there is domestic violence.
What’s her mindset when she goes into marraige? Marraige takes two to work.
Mrs Nancy said
Marriage is the two party willing to communicate well, and be patient with one another. Quitting is not the only solution. The word “submission and care” should not be abused.
Don’t go into a marraige expecting the worse because that’s what you’ll get. No cheating is not in a mans DNA, so cheating is not accepted, but there is a smart way to handle a cheating spouse. Money is a deep issue that if you let it come in between you and your spouse, you will be heading for destruction. A successful marraige is one that both party are both winning and strengthening each other as they go along life together.
In my mid twenties and after hearing all this, it has really put into perspective the kind of spouse I swould like to have and what to look out for. I also now know that Love is a strong ingredient but there are other factors to look out for when settling down. Don’t look for the materialistic things but that thing about the person that makes you tick even after they’ve pissed you out.
Thank you reading and please feel free to comment and share your opinions and thoughts and please follow and share.