Ever been so heartbroken that in the middle of a discussion in a meeting or maybe in a friendly discussion with colleagues in the office, you just space out? Like you mind just leaves the vicinity, and roams, you know where it has gone to but you can’t bring yourself to admit where it went to. That feeling of numbness, shock and different emotions just flooding into you, one minute you are in denial of not feeling sad, and the next you are so angry you want to hit something and then you want to call the person to clarify what went wrong and get some sanity in your head. You want to move forward but at the same time you remember the good times and then you are back to feeling all type of way. It affects you in all ramifications, you can’t pray, you can’t cry or rather refuse to cry, you find yourself making new resolutions, never to let another person in, never to let someone this close to your heart anymore, never giving someone the privilege to hurt you again, never ever again?
At one point in my life, I would have sworn all this things never really existed, I would exclaim “hey girl! Get over yourself!” but after going through several heartbreaks I have come to find out that heartbreaks could break or make you. You could be the type of person that gives your all in a relationship and all of a sudden you are left with nothing, you told this person everything, when you are sad you want to share it with this person, when you are excited you want to share with this person, you get down, the person knows what to say or do to make you smile and chappy all over again. And suddenly you reach for the phone before realising you don’t have that access to the person anymore and it breaks your heart some more.
Before heading to bed you hear the person’s voice and when you wake up in the morning you remember last nights’ conversation and you feel happy and ready to start your day, but now you wake a little too early because well you did not even sleep well to start with, but you get out of the bed all the same with a feeling of something missing, you get to the shower and remember what is missing, you haven’t spoken to the person, because they are no longer available to you.
Guess what, it will fade away, that feeling of numbness will fade away, it will begin to feel distant and you will learn to live with it, eventually you will move past it, while in this state of broken heartedness here are few things that could help you keep you mind in sanity.
- Trust few friends with your emotions, not everyone is there to help you get over your hurt, some just want to laugh, now is the time to disconnect emotionally from such people, be courteous but that should be it, the wrong people can help reduce the little self-esteem you might be struggling to hold down.
- Avoid slow, or lovey dovey songs when alone, now you can’t control the songs played in public, and it will look really coo coo to shout down everyone that plays a love song, rather plug your ears and listen to party songs, fast songs that will make you bop your head, you know those songs that make absolutely no sense. Because honestly you don’t need the lyrics to make sense anyways just the beats.
- End your day very exhausted, go out, you don’t have any money? Now is the good time to start exercising, runnoing, kickboxing, dance classes. Those things will take your mind away from feeling to depressed, you are still gonna feel down but really you will feel so tired to think about your heart.
- Write your emotions out, it is very therapeutic and you will notice the more you let it out, the more you feel better, you can choose to burn them when you’re done or make good money out of it. (many broken hearted people everywhere)
- Take up a new hobby, or work on a skill you feel you have but needs polishing.
- Pray and talk to your God, this is honestly the best way of fast healing , honestly, telling the Holy spirit to ease my heart pain I have noticed works like a charm because I instantly get a light heart and inspiration of something to channel my thoughts and occupy me.
- Don’t believe that talk of the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else, trust me that is a big fat lie, being under someone might make you feel worse off. Instead make new, intellectual and fun friends.
- Go out and watch comic movies, actions movies, horror movies.
- Lastly, it is okay to cry, it doesn’t make you weak, neither does it mean you a pitiful being, you just lost someone you have deep feelings for, let it out, scream it out, speak out into the air (alone though, because you don’t want to give people the wrong idea of your mental state) cry like the person died, crying takes away some stress.
The best part of heartbreak if you get over it is, you get wiser and learn from the past relationship, trust me I have been there several times, and contrary to my vows to not love again I end up loving the next guy that makes an effort to stay in my life.
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